Shades of Gray - Chapter One (The Day You Went Away)

I hear it. Rain. It still has a soothing effect on me. No, this isn't my fault, I didn't use the cards. After today, they will be in safe hands.

I finger my pendant as I finish the letter to Tomoyo, my best friend. I know I won't remember the past two and a half years right. It's for everyone's good.

I choke back a sob. That's all I have been able to do for the past year. I sign my name with the signature wings. A lone tear falls. This is my last time being able to do that.

I pull out another sheet of paper, and address it how it should be. This letter isn't formal, but it is important.

I get to the "dear" part, but then stop. Flashbacks spring back into my mind, a memory I have tried to block from myself.

scene change
a year ago

"Sakura, I need to tell you something," Syaoran said, nervously looking at the ground.

"You can tell me anything," I reply, reaching out to touch his shoulder. We were in his apartment, just barley inside the door.

He looked up. I gasped at what I saw. Tears. "I have to go back to Hong Kong, Sakura."

Those words stabbed my heart. I felt a lump grow in my throat as I managed to squeak, "When?"

He looked down again, and I knew the answer. "How long have you known?"

"Since last night."

I took as much air in as I could. My one true love, my life, was leaving me. "What time?"

"One o'clock," he lied. I knew he was. He looked up again. God, I will never forget the way he looked then. "Sakura, it wouldn't be fair for me to ask you to wait for me. I may not be able to come back this time."

My whole world seemed to crumble as I fell to the ground, the lump in my throat growing bigger. He sat down beside me, and put his arm around me as I loose control. Sure, I know what he was saying, and I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but he did. I cried into his shoulder as he rocked me back in forth, trying to hold in his on sobs. Suddenly, I jumped up and ran. He didn't follow.

scene change, back to before

I guess that's what hurt me most, him not following. Since then, I cry myself to sleep every night, only to relive that same nightmare of that flashback.

Kero walks over to me, across the desk, and asks, "Sakura? Are you sure you want to do this?"

I reply, "Yes, I am sure. Kero, I can't live with this pain anymore." I pick up the pen I had dropped during the flashback. and wrote, "Dear Syaoran."

"It's.. well, I know how you feel. I don't want to loose you."

"I know, but I won't be completely gone." I finish the usual "Hi!" and, "How's life?" bit that I normally do, then skip down to another line,

'I don't know how you'll react to this. Please don't call me, because I won't remember you.'

'I still don't know what happened that day. I don't want to. Remember that even though it's been a full year since then, I can't let go. I still love you.'

I go on to tell him the plan and explanation on why I have to do what I will be doing in a few moments. I then close, asking him to take care of the cards and Kero. I fold the paper and put it in an envelope, then into a box. In the box was the book of the cards, and a small package, a new card. The Restore. I made that card some time ago. I turn to Kero, activate my key and called out three cards, the Sleep, the Erase, and te Create. They took their true forms, except the create, which took a human form. "Please, follow the instructions that Kero gives you," I said, standing and walking to open the door.

Outside is Eriol about to knock. I give him a weak smile and motion for him to come in. He wanted to be here. I nodded to Kero, then laid down on my bed.

"Sleep, use your power to make Sakura sleep," he said as I look into Eriol's eyes.

Eriol's POV

She's brave. I can't believe that she's going through with this, but it's her life.

I lock eyes with hers and I see fear in them. I reach out for her had, but she's already under the spell. I'm going to miss her.

Kero returned Sleep, and asked Erase to erase her memory from the past two and a half years. Sleep floated to me as Erase did it's job. It changed back without Kero's prompt. It too floated over to me as Kero asked the Create card to give her a new memory. It did, then changed back and fell to the ground. I picked it up and placed all three in the book.

The key floated from it's place on Sakura's necklace and dropped into the box itself. I replace the lid and picked it up, along with the letter for Tomoyo. Then I noticed another box, a small one. It was wrapped in brown paper and had 'Tomoyo' written on the top. I pick that one up too, then walk out the door, giving Kero a chance to say good-bye, Touya was standing outside, looking worried.

"She'll be OK. She'll remember you, just not Syaoran, Kero, the cards, or me." He nods in response and helps me carry the boxes downstairs. Moments later, Kero lands on my shoulder.

I bend down and open my backpack and put Syaoran's box in there. Kero floated inside too. I zipped it and stood, getting the other stuff from Touya, then walked out of the house and to Tomoyo's.

I don't know how long it took me to walk there. The rain had stopped some time ago, so I was grateful for that.

She opens the door when I'm halfway up the steps, and turns to me. She started to cry. I gathered her into a hug until she calmed down.

We stood there for almost five minutes until I was able to give her the letter and the box. I feel bad for her. She knew Sakura for a lifetime, as where I have for only around two years. I give her a hug and kiss bye, and left. I know I'm coming back.

The rest of the day was spent on an airplane to Hong Kong. This will not be good.

Fin