To You I Belong

I wonder what he asked me to come to the bridge for. I mean, I haven't done anything to upset him, have I? I know that I changed the last card recently, but what could it do with him asking me there? Could he be leaving me?

Nah.

I strap on my roller-blades as I yelled out to Kero, "Hey Kero, save me some of those, and be sure to go into 'toy' mode when dad gets home."

"All right Sakura," he replied as I opened the door. Moments later, I was on my way, having locked the door.

It took around five, maybe ten minutes to arrive at the bridge he asked me to come to. He's looking up at the stars. I wonder what's on his mind right now.

"Thank you for coming," I am shocked. He said thanks.

"It's quite all right. Touya is over at Ykitto's house, and dad won't be home for another hour. Kero, well, he's eating the cookies I made last night." He started to laugh.

"I don't know how to tell you this," He seemed to tense up there, and he sounds a little afraid. All right, this silence is really killing me.

"Is everything all right with your mom and Meling?" Wow, stupid question Sakura. Couldn't you have said something a little more worth while, like that you love him? Where did that come from?

"Mom called me last night." He's stalling. What could be so important? "She wants me to come home." I feel a small explosion inside of me, one within my heart. He's leaving me? I gasped.

"Then I wish you the best of luck," I tried, I honestly did. I wanted, no, needed to be strong about this.

"It's not a question of luck, Sakura. It's of some force that I don't know of." He's hiding something. It's in his eyes."I'll come back. I promise. It may not be for a few years, but I will."

I skated up until we were just a few inches apart. "Then I will wait for you," I said as I gave him a brief hug and a soft kiss on the cheek. Ok, I'm acting on impulses. I want to keep you here in my arms, but I know I can't. I let go, and he started off home.

I skated up to the rail and hit it. Hard. I swear, I shouldn't be like this. I knew he would have to leave, but why now? I looked outwards towards oncoming traffic as I felt tears well up into my eyes.

I can't stay strong.

My tears fell.

I tried. I did. Honestly. After I got over the shock of you leaving, I rushed home and called Tomoyo. She was trying her best, I could tell. She can't help me, no one can. Kero knows.

All he does is sit there and let me talk. I am mad at him. He ate all the cookies. But that's not the point.

My ceiling is so boring. Its flat and doesn't have any imperfections. I wonder if I should paint something up there, maybe a cherry tree, or better yet, a wolf, one I would name Syaoran. Ugh, I have it bad.

I start to cry as I realize just what is going to happen. I roll over, trying to hide my tears from Kero. I fall asleep that way into nightmares of not being able to see him again. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Tomoyo doesn't understand me, not after all this. She got this crazy notion that we should go and see Syaoran off. I don't see any point in it, I mean, we're in school and he's, well, gone.

Still, when Tomoyo gets an idea, it's best not to try to stop her. She's always been like that, and probably always will. It's one of those things, like when you get this crazy idea in the back of your head and you know it wouldn't work, but still, you think about it in different ways until you are sure it would all work out in the end, but then you think about it again and realize it could never work. Nevertheless, it's still there, demanding your attention.

I wonder if that's what is going through Tomoyo's head right now.

Somehow, she manages to get the teacher to allow us to go to the airport. I, on the other hand, wanted to run home, to my room, where I could lock the door and throw away the key. But there is a problem in that. Kero would still be there.

We walked outside and waited for the bus in a really strange silence. This wasn't like Tomoyo. The bus has come, and it's only a matter of time before I have to face fate. I really don't want to do this. I just want things to be back to how they were last week, when there was no danger of Syaoran leaving me.

The airport is very busy for it being a weekday. I hear some announcement as Tomoyo grabbed my arm and ran towards some gate number that they must have said. I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. Tomoyo, why must you do this?

"We'll miss him if we don't hurry," she said. Easy for her to say, her being the one not loosing the one she loved. Oh wait, she had. Eriol. Oh my god, that's why she's doing this. She don't want him to leave, and look at how I am.

We reached the gate with almost no problems, and then when we tried to see if he was on there, we started pleading for us to be allowed on just for a second. It didn't work.

Tomoyo pulled out a picture. "Have you seen this boy?" The man keeping us from going any further. I walked off to the window. "Could you give him this? It would mean a lot to my friend." He took the package as he shut the doors. I was looking out the window, my hand on the glass. I know, it must be cleched, I mean, I read it a lot in my romance books. Yea, I read them, just, in private.

I mouth, "To you I belong," as I watch the plane prepare for take off. I couldn't handle it as it taxied off to the runway, and I slid down the glass, crying.

three weeks later

"Syaoran, I miss you so much. I know it hasn't been that long, but for me, it seems like an eternity has passed. Each day has brought me no joy. Without you here, I don't know if I can make it.

"I know I have to. I have a promise to keep. It seems like that since you have left, a storm has been in. The weather man says that it'll clear off by the time our class goes on our field trip to the beach tomorrow.

"Yea, I know what you're probarly thinking, you want to come with us so that you can try to beat me in beach volley ball again. Man, those were the days. Hey, why am I thinking like a grown-up? That was a year ago.

"Man, what would I give for that one day? Maybe my whole destiny, maybe my life? No, nothing is worth that much. No, I'm not suicidal, it's just that I miss you so much. Rika says I should give up on you, but she don't know how I feel for you, and she ain't going to find out either.

"I count the minutes until you will return, even though you said that you don't know when that'll be. I now rely on those tapes Tomoyo has made of us, and of dreams, to remind me on how cute you looked when you were mad at me for making a really stupid comment, or how you would help me whenever I needed it. But, now even I am starting to loose faith. I don't think I can hold out much longer."

I rolled up the piece of paper that I was writing on, and tied a pink ribbon around it. I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to give it to the ocean so that it may or may not reach you. I don't care if it does or not, it just seems like the right thing to do right now.

I stand up to get ready for bed and look over to where Kero was laying. He's asleep already, thank goodness. I don't think I'm up for him asking any questions. I lay down to try to get some sleep, but it doesn't happen. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since I knew he was gone.

When sleep finally gets to me, it was around four in the morning.

The trip to the beach was long, and I kept thinking of you. The letter I wrote last night is hidden in my pocket, and I'm dead set on following through with the plan.

We get off at around ten in the morning, and instantly I grab my stuff and run to the shore, digging in my pocket for the letter. I don't care what everybody says, or what they think for the matter at hand. I'm a girl on a mission, and nobody will stop me. I drop my stuff, and threw the letter as far as I can. I offer kami-sama a prayer before I pick up my stuff again and returned to my class.

I toss and turn. It's around midnight, and I still can't sleep. It's not fair, everyone else can, so why shouldn't I? I sat up and put on a pair of sandals. I take one look around to be sure that no one was up, and stood up and walked out the door.

I walked for an hour, never once thinking of where I was going. I just let my imagination soar, and my mind did the rest. I stopped where I was, and opened out my arms and started to spin, a feeling of joy washing over me that I will never forget. Don't ask me how it happened, it just did. I felt like I was flying, and that was all that mattered to meat the moment. Syaoran may be gone, but I knew he would always be here.

I stop spinning as I tumble to the ground, laughing my head off. Tomoyo would get a kick out of this, I know. I finally regained my composure, and I started to draw in the sand. At first it was scribbles, and then it was a cherry blossom, then it evolved into a wolf. I sighed and drew a heart around it, adding a S+S in the bottom where it closes. I stood back up and walked back to camp, finally tired and ready to face whatever may come into my path.

God Syaoran, I miss you so much.