Cruel To Be Kind

She sighed as she pushed her bangs back with a black bandanna. She closed her eyes, trying to get a grip on reality.

"All right guys. We have a little less than a week to pull this together," she said, taking a deep breath, then opening her eyes once again. "Let's try this one more time, then we'll call it a night, OK?"

There was a brief sound of approval, then the clicking of sticks. She took her guitar into her hands, striking the first chord of the song. Closing her eyes, she gets lost in the moment of memorial bliss.

( °)

She watched as he turned the corner, sighing once again as he seemed to walk out of her life. She leaned up against the wall, bringing her hands to her head.

'Damn it! Why do I always let him do this to me?' she sighed once again, closing her eyes. 'I mean, it's not like I haven't liked him since forever and a day ago.'

"Usagi-chan? Daijoubu?" a voice to the right almost made her jump.

"Hai, daijoubu." She made no move to leave, only dropping her hands to her sides.

"Are you sure?"

Usagi halfway opened her eyes and sent a small smile in the direction of her friend. "Hai, Rei-chan. It's just.." She looked to the corner, blinking her eyes from the tears that started forming.

"Hard," Rei finished, placing her hand on Usagi's shoulder. "Gambattine, Usa." She turned and left the blonde standing there.

--

She sat in her desk, head on her wrist, daydreaming. Her eyes were unfocused, yet they showed a sadness that shouldn't be apparent in one so young.

'Bittersweet agony.. I wish I could find what I'm meant for,' she thought before sighing and looking back to the teacher, halfway listening to the lesson.

'So what if we're not meant to be? We are in high school, after all. I mean, we have our whole lives ahead of us.' Absentmindedly, she fingered the hem to her bell-sleeved shirt.

'Why can't you just see me as I see you?'

--

She was once again strumming the strings, trying to let her frustrations out. It was currently near one in the morning, and it was nearing show time. They currently had three days until they were to perform at the school's talent show.

She heard her drummer hit an offbeat note, then she smiled.

--

"If that was the way that it needed to be, don't you think that he would tell you that he likes you?" Her friend, Minako, asked.

"Hai, demo.." She looked to his retreating form. "It seems as if wherever I am, there he is. It's like this huge game of hide-and-seek, only I want to jump out of the shadows and scream at the top of my lungs, 'Here I am!' Mina-chan, I don't know what to do." She let her eyes drop to the ground. "Sometimes, I just want to run up to him and ask what happened between us for him to stop talking as he has."

Mina just smiled, although sadly. "Maybe you'll find out the answer someday. I'm sure he has noble reasons."

--

The strings to her guitar seemed to vibrate under her finger tips, her ears picking up on a slightly out-of-tune note. She had to admit, this was one of their best rehearsals.

She barely had time to breathe before she started singing again.

--

She stood in the middle of the hall, looking into the deep blue, almost purple, of his eyes threatening to drown her if she doesn't come up for air soon.

He coughed, and she realized belatedly that she had been locked in his gaze.

'What's wrong with me?' she asked herself as she bent down to pick up her books, followed shortly by the man in front of her. 'Why can't I talk?'

He handed her the few books that he had gathered before helping her up.

"Thanks," Usagi said, looking down to the ground to hide her blush.

"Hn." He walked away.

She snapped her head up to watch him walk away before shaking herself out of her revere. She continued her trek to the student parking lot.

"Hey, Usa-chan! Don't forget the practice we have tonight!"

Usagi turned and smiled at Makato. She was the drummer girl of the group. She simply nodded before climbing into her small silver Echo.

--

She took a quick deep breath before she opened her eyes and smiling.

"Cruel to be kind, in the right measure, cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign," she sang, holding her head high and singing into the mike.

Ami was sitting somewhere nearby, recording the whole session to see what they could improve upon.

--

She walked into the school building, holding her notebooks in the crook of her arm, balancing her sheet music on top while trying to study it. In her other hand she held the case to her guitar.

She wasn't paying attention to where she was walking, and she ran into someone.

"Gomen nasi! I didn't realize I wasn't alone here," she babbled, trying to keep her balance without dropping everything.

A hand reached out to hold her shoulder, helping her keep the balance she so desperately wanted. The guy turned to walk away, but not before she saw a smirk on his lips.

'Or was that a smile?' she thought before rushing into the band room to set up her amp.

--

She closed her eyes again as she tried to keep her eyes from misting over. Despite the ungodly hour, she wanted to make it through this unending practice that she had brought upon herself.

That confrontation had her shaking inside. She could feel Mina nudge her in the shoulder, giving her strength, but she could only smile a little bit before she felt the tears get heavier in her eyes.

--

She was running as fast as she could to make it to her class on time. This would be her third tardy this semester, and it was only halfway through!

She sighed as she drew in a bigger breath, before running into someone and falling to the ground.

She clutched her hands to her temples to try to slow the stars that seemed to fly around her head. She could make out a form in front of her doing the same thing.

After a few silent moments, she could see clearly. She took one look and promptly burst out into giggles.

"That was a rush!" she said, standing up but leaning to the wall for support. "I'm sorry. I'm late again."

The man on the floor rejected her offer to help him, but stood beside her, leaning against the wall.

"No use in trying to be on time for class now, ne?" he asked without emotion. Her face fell, and the bell rang.

"See you later?" she asked.

"Hn."

--

She felt the tear fall down her cheek, but she didn't open her eyes.

'Gotta be strong, gotta be strong,' she repeated over and over in her head. 'Damn. It doesn't work.'

--

He turned away from her as he started into his classroom, still trying to get his bearings straight.

'Cruel to be kind..' she thought. 'I love you..' She opened the door to the classroom beside his before her eyes lit up.

She sought Rei out with her eyes before she sat down. Rei passed her a note.

'When you have that glint in your eye, I can't help but worry. What is your plan this time?' Usagi read, smiling inwardly.

'I figured out a song for us to do,' she replied.

--

She didn't brush the tear away, but opened her eyes to blink back more. The lighting made her eyes water more than chopped garlic.

'Wonder why,' she thought.

They hit her solo, and the crowd started to yell and cheer before she started to really get into it.

Mina backed her up, along with Rei on base. Usagi smiled.

The solo wound down, and Usagi sought out one face.

--

She ran into him again for the fifteenth time that day. She smiled in apology before starting to walk away.

'Today is the day I say good-bye,' she thought sadly. 'I can't chase after him the rest of my life. This is senior year, after all.'

She felt a hand on her upper arm, and she turned to look into Ami's eyes.

"Don't give up," she said before walking away.

( °)

She looked into his eyes. She was on the floor, him towering over her.

She smiled as he offered a hand to help her up.

"Thanks," she said, accepting his offer before trying to walk off.

He gripped her hand tighter, and, pulling her to face him, looked into her eyes as deep as he could.

"Nani?" she asked before he captured her in his embrace and claiming her lips with his own.

--

She hit a new chord before singing her heart out.

"And when I ask you to explain, you say you gotta be.. Cruel to be kind, in the right measure," she sang, nodding her had to make her hair get out of her eyes. "Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign.."

--

He let her stand on her own, but she laid her head on his shoulder, before smiling and humming. "I love you," she said, looking back into his eyes. "I've loved you since forever ago.."

He silenced her with another kiss, before replying. "Me too.." They continued to kiss, obvlious to the history teacher's glare.

--

"She had her back to Mina's, as they started winding down the song, repeating the chorus once more before nailing the last rhythm and last chord. The crowd jumped up and down, screaming for the quartet on stage.

Ami even seemed to be sharing in the excitement, for she had left the recorder going.

The four got into the middle of the stage and bowed before the curtain closed.

As they stood up, they all squealed and hugged each other.

"That was the best performance ever!" Makoto exclaimed, grasping Usagi's hands and jumping up and down.

"I know! Things could only get better from here on!" Rei and Mina clasped the other two's hands, before they all started to scream at their good job.

Usagi stopped and smiled. Backing away from the other three, she tripped over a stray cord and fell back into someone's arms.

The three stopped when they didn't hear the usual wails, but a soft gasp. Mina's eyes lit up, and she ushered the two beside her to help pack the instruments.

"Are you all right?" he asked, helping her to her feet.

She smiled, gaining one in return. "Hai, I am. Thanks a bunch." She turned to face him, still in his arms. "How did you enjoy the show?"

He smiled and pulled the girl to his chest. "Beautiful."

"If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have sung that song," she said, snuggling into his embrace.

"Who said anything about a song?" he asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Baka Duo-chan!" she giggled before he bent down and kissed her.

Saved

She watched as the three girls walked off. Hugging her chest, she could feel the pressure build until she could bear it no more. She had told them to go.

She nearly fell to the ground in exhaustion. He mind was on overload. She didn't want to remember what she had seen.

'Malachite..' she thought, 'I will never forget you.'

She stands up, clutching the orange fabric in her hands, above her heart. Slowly, she makes her way out of the park.

--

She could hear the screams around her, even though she couldn't see. Her voice seemed to grow fainter with each passing second, growing more and more like a person she didn't know.

Such was the life of a teenager who lived in these troubled times. With the constant threat of yoma, who could even try to be normal? Sure, the easiest thing to do would be to run away from it all, wouldn't it?

"Hand over the crystal or you friend will die."

'Hm.. I wonder why I'm always caught in the line of fire?' she thinks, trying in vain to feel her hands. 'Why would that witch lock me in here, anyway?'

"All right! You win. Let her go."

'Usagi?'

--

She walks down the street, deep in thought. 'It couldn't be.. But the odangoes.. The acting.. It's gotta be!'

She stops in front of the local television store and watches the screens replay what had been on her mind. Standing in the middle of the screen was a sailor-clad warrior, Sailor Moon, holding out a crystal in the palm of her hand. An evil looking lady stood nearby, reaching out to take it.

'That's all this is. A game of cat and mouse. Well, I won't stand for it!'

"Although there were no reports, the casualties of these strange monster attacks are starting to rise. Who is this teenager who is bent on taking over the world?"

She snorts. 'More like saving your sorry asses.' She walks further down the street, not caring who she bumps into.

--

She watches the stars shimmer in the night sky. Her face is stotic, her stair unblinking. It's as if time had stopped for the girl.

'Why do things have to change?'

She conjures up an image of her friend, Usagi.

'Why can't they be the same as before?'

She sees her clothes melt away into a version of Sailor Moon's fuku.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

She smiles.

'Then I would be able to thank you.'

--

She hears her door open, pulling her from her revere, her silent vigil of the stars. Standing there is her mother, basked in shadows. "You know her secret, don't you?" she asks, the stench of alcohol on her clothing.

"Know whose secret, mom?" Despite her inner torment, she was calm.

"Sailor Moon's! You know her! Tell me!" She lunged for her daughter.

"Mom! I don't know! How could I? You know she never stays around!" She jumps further into the corner.

The woman gets ahold of her shirt. "Tell me!"

"How can I?"

--

She could hear the glass shatter, yet she hadn't the strength to move. She heard a small struggle, then her door slam.

'Why, mom?' she thought desperately, trying to ease her shaking spirit.

"Naru, are you all right?" a voice asks from so very far away.

'Perhaps I'm just imagining things.'

A pair of soft hands gently lift the girl from the floor and lay her gently on the bed. She could hear soft humming, and a strange light seemed to fill her.

"Usa.. I know.." she barely stutters out.

A gasp and the fading of the light guided her into the darkness of sleep.

--

She was walking down the hall, painfully aware of the stares she was getting. Her mother wouldn't let her put on any makeup, nor did she want to cover the hand-shaped bruise.

She stumbled to a halt to see her childhood friend standing in the middle of the hallway, clutching her bag and a note like there's no tomorrow. Her head is bowed, and she's trying to catch her breath.

Not a word is spoken as the blond hands the neatly folded square into the waiting hands, then turns and walks calmly into the classroom.

--

"If you had to choose.. Life.. Death.. Normalcy, uniqueness.. Which would you choose..."

--

Dinner was slow and tense. Mother and daughter said not a word as the clattering of silverware on china echoed through the small dining space. Neither looked nor stared, both concentrating on the task at hand.

Without a word, the girl picks up her dishes and silently excuses herself to the kitchen. Placing her dishes in the sink, she carefully walks up the stairs to her room, softly closing and locking the door.

Funny how one night can change a person so much.

She sits down at her desk and reads the slow and steady handwriting of her friend, trying to make sense of it all.

She smiles. Her friend needn't her help.

She takes out a piece of paper and a pen, and slowly begins to write.

--

'Usagi,

'The manner of which you speak is not for me to decide. Whatever is best, I will conform. Life, I would choose life. Not because it's shelfish, but because it on itself is the most wondrous thing.

'Even if we grow apart, I will never tell your secret. I must admit I was surprised at how long it took me to figure it out, even though we don't talk much anymore.

'Times change, Usagi. I am sorry I was not there for you when you needed it the most. In ways, I wish I could turn back time to help you on this journey, however I know it is not for me to help. You have a guard now, princess. You have my blessing.

'Even if you erase my mind, I will always remember the one that seemed to sparkle with moonbeams as you have these past few weeks. Your toughest challenge is yet to come, and it will start with the finding of the crystal and the Tsuki no Hime. You have my prayers, as well as
my thanks.

'Don't berate yourself now. Even if mom wanted to find out, I wouldn't let her. You saved me, Usagi. If you hadn't been there, I don't know what I would have done. This bruise, it means nothing if it weren't to help a friend. I am eternally grateful that you help the world, as I'm
sure they will someday. Just, don't do anything rash, all right?

'I'll leave the memory thing up to you. The world's in capable hands, princess. Never forget that, for it is your light that will save the
world.

'Naru'

--

Naru closes her eyes as she flips off the lights. She sighs as she
settles in for a night's rest. She smiles softly as she drifts into a
fitful slumber, fit for royalty.

Love Of My Life

There was the sound of an explosion below her. She could feel the arms around her, the wind making her bangs blow around her tightly closed eyes.

'Why is it always like this?' She asks herself as she is lowered to the ground. She cautiously opens her eyes, and blinks back tears.

'Things will never change back to the peace the universe once had. I pray for all those who have lost their lives, their souls, to this pointless battle.'

All around her, she can see the fires. Her once proud home, her life, now lay in shattered remains on the ground.

Her supposed husband raised his hands, and she can see her counterpart, so alike they could be twins, raise her arms in a defensive cross in front of her face. Time seems to slow down as the power from the flames seemed to swirl around the man.

'Iie..' she thinks, starting forward at a crawl. She could barely move, her legs seemed pinned to the spot.

"Star wall," the counterpart says as a shimmering gold field raises around her. The energy from the flames grew thicker.

'Iie!' She willed her legs to move faster, her heart pounding in her translucent chest.

A torrent of flames leapt from the man's open palms, stretching out to take control of the girl behind the field.

"Iie!!" she screams. She feels an arm wrap around her waist before she can go any further, a hand clamps over her mouth.

"Serenity, don't move! All will be lost!"

The flames give one final burst of light, then fade to nothing. The girl who was behind the field stood proud, her hands clasped at her chest.

"I must be brief, for the future is at stake," she whispers, a few scarce tears making her way down her cheeks and collecting on her hands.

"Give it up, Serenity! You can never protect the child!" The man made a mad dash toward the now shimmering girl, a dagger forming in his hands as he runs.

"Though it is night, a new dawn will come," she replies, just as soft as before. The tears start to swirl and form her own dagger. She closes her eyes, and allows the song of life to pass through her before she strikes out.

"However hard it may be, Sere, you must let this scene play out. It is for the future, for she must grow," she could feel his words vibrating through his chest and through her dress. She spins out of his arms and stares into his eyes.

"What choice do I have? I only wish to accept karma, to allow my faults to be corrected." She turns to the battle. "I remember hearing about this battle from my long journey. How am I to stand by and watch as my daughter is claimed by the darkness?" She shakes her head, the tears making their way down her face. She hears a scream and shuts her eyes.

"No matter what happens, we cannot change the past. You of all people know this, Serenity. Why deny it?" The men behind her reaches out a hand and places it on her shoulder. "This scene, it should give you hope. One day, things will be brighter. There will be peace."

"You're wrong," she replies, starting to shake with uncontrolled emotions. "No matter where the being of Light is, agents of the dark will follow, hoping to cast the world into shadows of fear, of doubt."

She opens her eyes and sees her counterpart has fallen. "They will rule the world, until the prophecy comes to pass. Until then, I shall accept what fate and destiny shall give me."

"He still loves you," the man continues behind her. "As long as love exists, then nothing shall bind you."

She sniggers. "The one I truly love, I cannot have. The hands of fate are very persuasive." His hand falls from her shoulder and she sighs, unaware of the tears that still flow from her eyes. "I just want to sleep."

She watches as her husband, still feeling the victory of supposedly killing his wife, starts to stalk to a hidden cove, behind a burning building. Serenity's eyes open wide as she lets out a frantic plea.

"Leave her alone!" She starts to run, aware the man behind her is following her. She tries to get to the child before her husband can, only to be held back once again.

She blinks as more tears start to fall, trying to break out of the iron grip of the man behind her. Somehow, she can feel his sadness as she reaches out, screaming.

The man turns back, holding a small girl of no more than eight by the wrist. The child is struggling to break free.

"Endymion! How could you!" she screams as the world starts to fade to black, forgotten images of the past making their way before her eyes.

--

"It's in these times that the soul can truly remember what it is like to have lost something dear, to truly reach out to the one it loves with all it's being..."

--

She slowly opens her eyes, blinking back the tears of the forgotten dream. She looks over to the clock and sighs. It's another day, and for once she is early.

Her cat watches, numb in shock, as her charge stands and starts getting ready for the day. The alarm clock starts to chime, and the blond stares for a moment, then turns it off.

"Luna, don't look at me like that," the girl says, zipping up her skirt and grabbing her homework.

--

She's sitting in the classroom, second only to her new friend, Ami. She is deathly quiet, thinking of the strange things that have been happening.

'Why now?' she finds herself asking. 'Why me? Why do I have to be the one?' "Who am I?" she asks to the air, her sight going blurry, composing a second image above the first.

The blue haired girl, Ami, turns and gives her a strange look.

She smiles, trying to hide the fact that she was confused.

Love of my life don't leave me You've taken my love, (all of my love) and now desert me

The man, her personal trainer, is standing in front of her, his face hidden by shadows. She can feel the light bouncing off her skin, off the pure white of her dress. She was confused.

"You wished to see me, Andrew?"

He smiled. She didn't know how she knew. It was a smile that both warmed and chilled her heart.

"I have to leave for awhile, Usagi. We shall meet again. Remember all I have taught you." He starts to fade as Usagi rushes forward.

"No wait! I haven't even seen your face! How will I know it is you?"

"You will when the time is right. Farewell, princess." His words are soft as he is fully gone.

The tears seemed so right now. 'Why?' she asks, falling to the ground. 'Why?!' To her, the world was bleeding, her manner of life was gone. 'After all these years, why now?' She pounds her fist on the ground, breaking the skin, staining her pure white dress. Everything starts to fade away.

--

She could feel the soft hand on her shoulder. Looking back, she stares into the cool blue of Ami's eyes. An unspoken question hangs there.

"He's gone," she whispers. The words catch in her throat. She reaches up to wipe the tears away, and hears Ami gasp.

"Come on, Usagi-chan. We must take you to the infirmary. You're bleeding."

--

They were late to class, but they had a note. Haruna-sensi gave them the assignment, and they sat down and quietly did their work.

--

a few years later

--

She sighed in contempt. Behind her, her Mamoru, her Endymion, sat, holding her close.

'If this is so right, why does it feel so wrong?' she asks in her head.

'You love him..' a voice replies in the back of her mind.

She slowly stands, stepping out of Mamoru's arms. She could sense his quizzical glance, but she didn't care. She slowly stepped out into the water, lifting her skirts so they wouldn't get wet.

'I remember, training here, in this very lake.' She closed her eyes as a lone tear fell. 'So many tears. Will Hell never freeze?'

--

She's running late to a senshi meeting. Her mother almost didn't let her go, with the increase of negative energy.

She didn't realize where she was running. She ran into a soft body, and before they could fall, the person caught them both. She gasped as she stood, looking up into her savior's eyes.

"Thank you, kind sir. I am sorry that I didn't watch where I was going." She gave a short bow, fighting the familiarity of the situation.

The man above her smiled and bowed as well then walked on his way. She stood there, transfixed, as he disappeared in the crowed.

She sighed and shut her eyes, trying to figure out where she had felt that energy pattern before. With a start of surprise, she snapped open her eyes and ran at break-neck speed to the temple.

--

It was the eve of her 21st birthday. She shook her head. Nobody knew.

Her mother had died when she was still an infant. The rest of her family didn't want her, the child being born a bastard because her father was lost to war. It took years, but she was adopted as Usagi Tsukino.

Only she and her foster parents knew her real birth date. She had asked that they change the date for specific reasons, and they had helped without question, accepting her request as a noble cause.

She was scared. Standing in front of the door to the man she once loved, she couldn't put into words what she wanted.

She knocked. He answered.

--

She walked home in the dark. The meeting had gone terrible. Mamoru had denounced his love for her before she had a chance to break it off.

She stumbled into the park, attempting to heal the rift in her heart that made her feel vournurable.

She made it to the lake, and dropped to her hands and knees. She didn't have the strength to carry on.

A splash was heard, and she felt the dark energy increase thrice fold, but she did nothing but kneel there.

'I just want to sleep,' she thought, shutting her eyes.

Something hit her in her temple. Without sound, she fell into the darkness.

Ooh, back - hurry back

She groggily opened her eyes, blinking back the blurriness. "Where am I?" she asks in a voice that was not her own.

"You are safe, princess."

Her eyes snapped open.

"Andrew?" She tried to sit up, but his hand held her shoulder to the bed.

"Not now. It's not quite midnight, and you've still got to recover."

--

She felt the tears sting her eyes as she reached to touch his face. "Is it really you?

He smiled the bittersweet smile from long ago. "Hai. We don't have much time. After tonight, I must return home." He reached and took her hand into his own.

"Please, take me with you?"

Because you don't know what it means to me

He gave her hand a little squeeze. "Are you sure? We must leave tonight."

The tears fell from her cheeks in a slow stream. She nodded her head and brought his hand to her lips and kissed it, closing her eyes.

"I know. There is nothing but heartache here for me."

--

Somewhere, a clock struck midnight. Usagi's body glowed a faint silver as her eyes and hair changed color.

Andrew's eyes grew soft. "Welcome back, princess."

"I'm finally myself!"

He chuckled, bending down and kissing her, their bodies fading into another time.

To You I Belong

I wonder what he asked me to come to the bridge for. I mean, I haven't done anything to upset him, have I? I know that I changed the last card recently, but what could it do with him asking me there? Could he be leaving me?

Nah.

I strap on my roller-blades as I yelled out to Kero, "Hey Kero, save me some of those, and be sure to go into 'toy' mode when dad gets home."

"All right Sakura," he replied as I opened the door. Moments later, I was on my way, having locked the door.

It took around five, maybe ten minutes to arrive at the bridge he asked me to come to. He's looking up at the stars. I wonder what's on his mind right now.

"Thank you for coming," I am shocked. He said thanks.

"It's quite all right. Touya is over at Ykitto's house, and dad won't be home for another hour. Kero, well, he's eating the cookies I made last night." He started to laugh.

"I don't know how to tell you this," He seemed to tense up there, and he sounds a little afraid. All right, this silence is really killing me.

"Is everything all right with your mom and Meling?" Wow, stupid question Sakura. Couldn't you have said something a little more worth while, like that you love him? Where did that come from?

"Mom called me last night." He's stalling. What could be so important? "She wants me to come home." I feel a small explosion inside of me, one within my heart. He's leaving me? I gasped.

"Then I wish you the best of luck," I tried, I honestly did. I wanted, no, needed to be strong about this.

"It's not a question of luck, Sakura. It's of some force that I don't know of." He's hiding something. It's in his eyes."I'll come back. I promise. It may not be for a few years, but I will."

I skated up until we were just a few inches apart. "Then I will wait for you," I said as I gave him a brief hug and a soft kiss on the cheek. Ok, I'm acting on impulses. I want to keep you here in my arms, but I know I can't. I let go, and he started off home.

I skated up to the rail and hit it. Hard. I swear, I shouldn't be like this. I knew he would have to leave, but why now? I looked outwards towards oncoming traffic as I felt tears well up into my eyes.

I can't stay strong.

My tears fell.

I tried. I did. Honestly. After I got over the shock of you leaving, I rushed home and called Tomoyo. She was trying her best, I could tell. She can't help me, no one can. Kero knows.

All he does is sit there and let me talk. I am mad at him. He ate all the cookies. But that's not the point.

My ceiling is so boring. Its flat and doesn't have any imperfections. I wonder if I should paint something up there, maybe a cherry tree, or better yet, a wolf, one I would name Syaoran. Ugh, I have it bad.

I start to cry as I realize just what is going to happen. I roll over, trying to hide my tears from Kero. I fall asleep that way into nightmares of not being able to see him again. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Tomoyo doesn't understand me, not after all this. She got this crazy notion that we should go and see Syaoran off. I don't see any point in it, I mean, we're in school and he's, well, gone.

Still, when Tomoyo gets an idea, it's best not to try to stop her. She's always been like that, and probably always will. It's one of those things, like when you get this crazy idea in the back of your head and you know it wouldn't work, but still, you think about it in different ways until you are sure it would all work out in the end, but then you think about it again and realize it could never work. Nevertheless, it's still there, demanding your attention.

I wonder if that's what is going through Tomoyo's head right now.

Somehow, she manages to get the teacher to allow us to go to the airport. I, on the other hand, wanted to run home, to my room, where I could lock the door and throw away the key. But there is a problem in that. Kero would still be there.

We walked outside and waited for the bus in a really strange silence. This wasn't like Tomoyo. The bus has come, and it's only a matter of time before I have to face fate. I really don't want to do this. I just want things to be back to how they were last week, when there was no danger of Syaoran leaving me.

The airport is very busy for it being a weekday. I hear some announcement as Tomoyo grabbed my arm and ran towards some gate number that they must have said. I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. Tomoyo, why must you do this?

"We'll miss him if we don't hurry," she said. Easy for her to say, her being the one not loosing the one she loved. Oh wait, she had. Eriol. Oh my god, that's why she's doing this. She don't want him to leave, and look at how I am.

We reached the gate with almost no problems, and then when we tried to see if he was on there, we started pleading for us to be allowed on just for a second. It didn't work.

Tomoyo pulled out a picture. "Have you seen this boy?" The man keeping us from going any further. I walked off to the window. "Could you give him this? It would mean a lot to my friend." He took the package as he shut the doors. I was looking out the window, my hand on the glass. I know, it must be cleched, I mean, I read it a lot in my romance books. Yea, I read them, just, in private.

I mouth, "To you I belong," as I watch the plane prepare for take off. I couldn't handle it as it taxied off to the runway, and I slid down the glass, crying.

three weeks later

"Syaoran, I miss you so much. I know it hasn't been that long, but for me, it seems like an eternity has passed. Each day has brought me no joy. Without you here, I don't know if I can make it.

"I know I have to. I have a promise to keep. It seems like that since you have left, a storm has been in. The weather man says that it'll clear off by the time our class goes on our field trip to the beach tomorrow.

"Yea, I know what you're probarly thinking, you want to come with us so that you can try to beat me in beach volley ball again. Man, those were the days. Hey, why am I thinking like a grown-up? That was a year ago.

"Man, what would I give for that one day? Maybe my whole destiny, maybe my life? No, nothing is worth that much. No, I'm not suicidal, it's just that I miss you so much. Rika says I should give up on you, but she don't know how I feel for you, and she ain't going to find out either.

"I count the minutes until you will return, even though you said that you don't know when that'll be. I now rely on those tapes Tomoyo has made of us, and of dreams, to remind me on how cute you looked when you were mad at me for making a really stupid comment, or how you would help me whenever I needed it. But, now even I am starting to loose faith. I don't think I can hold out much longer."

I rolled up the piece of paper that I was writing on, and tied a pink ribbon around it. I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to give it to the ocean so that it may or may not reach you. I don't care if it does or not, it just seems like the right thing to do right now.

I stand up to get ready for bed and look over to where Kero was laying. He's asleep already, thank goodness. I don't think I'm up for him asking any questions. I lay down to try to get some sleep, but it doesn't happen. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since I knew he was gone.

When sleep finally gets to me, it was around four in the morning.

The trip to the beach was long, and I kept thinking of you. The letter I wrote last night is hidden in my pocket, and I'm dead set on following through with the plan.

We get off at around ten in the morning, and instantly I grab my stuff and run to the shore, digging in my pocket for the letter. I don't care what everybody says, or what they think for the matter at hand. I'm a girl on a mission, and nobody will stop me. I drop my stuff, and threw the letter as far as I can. I offer kami-sama a prayer before I pick up my stuff again and returned to my class.

I toss and turn. It's around midnight, and I still can't sleep. It's not fair, everyone else can, so why shouldn't I? I sat up and put on a pair of sandals. I take one look around to be sure that no one was up, and stood up and walked out the door.

I walked for an hour, never once thinking of where I was going. I just let my imagination soar, and my mind did the rest. I stopped where I was, and opened out my arms and started to spin, a feeling of joy washing over me that I will never forget. Don't ask me how it happened, it just did. I felt like I was flying, and that was all that mattered to meat the moment. Syaoran may be gone, but I knew he would always be here.

I stop spinning as I tumble to the ground, laughing my head off. Tomoyo would get a kick out of this, I know. I finally regained my composure, and I started to draw in the sand. At first it was scribbles, and then it was a cherry blossom, then it evolved into a wolf. I sighed and drew a heart around it, adding a S+S in the bottom where it closes. I stood back up and walked back to camp, finally tired and ready to face whatever may come into my path.

God Syaoran, I miss you so much.

Sounds of Silence

The sun has set about an hour ago. I know that this is going to be hard, I mean, how could it not. Mom called me back to Hong Kong last night, and I asked Sakura to meet me here, at the 49th bridge. I am staring up at the moon, the few stars that are out flickering. I think I see Venus.

I feel her presence behind me. I don't turn around as I say, "Thank you for coming."

"It's quite all right. Touya is over at Ykitto's house, and dad won't be home for another hour. Kero, well, he's eating the cookies I made last night." I fake a laugh as I feel tears welling up.

"I don't know how to tell you this," I say, trying to keep my voice from giving away to my true sadness. God Sakura. Will you forgive me? We stand there for a few minutes in an awkward silence.

"Is everything all right with your mom and Meling?" She asks.

"Mom called me last night." I deliberately didn't answer her question. "She wants me to come home." I could hear a slight gasp behind me, but I still don't turn around.

"Then I wish you the best of luck," She replied. She's trying to be stubborn. I can hear it.

"It's not a question of luck, Sakura. It's of some force that I don't know of." I turn around, trying to hide my tears. "I'll come back. I promise. It may not be for a few years, but I will."

Sakura skated up. Yea, I just noticed that she had on her roller blades. "Then I will wait for you," she said as she gave me a brief hug and a soft kiss on the cheek. I pray that I could stay here in your arms, but I know I can't. She let go, and I started off home.

It's been about three hours since I have told Sakura. I wish I could have taken it all back, even if it was the truth. Tomoyo called about five minutes ago, worried about Sakura, whom she has been on the phone with since she has gotten home.

I'm in my room, lying on my bed, and I have no lights on. My life seems to have came to a sudden stop, although I couldn't stop in time. All my stuff has been packed, I turned in my books yesterday, and all that is left is for me to get to the plane tomorrow by two o'clock. Good thing tomorrow's a school day, or I know that Sakura will be there. I wouldn't be able to face her, not when I'm about to leave.

I debate whether or not I should go, but I decide against staying. It's for the best, right? I'm supposed to be the leader of the clan, I have duties to uphold. I cannot be a normal kid anymore. I cannot have the one I love there to greet me everyday. Do I have to live through all this? Do I have a say in all that I have to go trough? Can I ever come back to this town and live the rest of my life peaceful?

Even though I know I will never get the answers to these questions, I know the answer to the last one. It can never be.

I fall asleep to a night full of prophetic dreams that I know I will never remember.

"Tomodia flight 316 to Hong Kong, now boarding at gate 15." I pick up my suitcase and walk over to the terminal. It's fifteen minutes until the flight will leave, but I want to be sure I don't change my mind about this. I hand my ticket to the lady at the doors, and walk on.

I find my seat, and as luck would have it I'm at a window seat in first class. I wonder how mom ever got that for me. I put my carryon bag under my seat and lean the seat back. One thing is for sure, this flight is going to be long. I reach down and open my bag and take out a pad of paper and something to write with.

"Sakura,
Not even off the ground and I miss you. I am such a fool to think that I should go back home and face up to my mother. Well, I know that I will come back, maybe after I finish my training and assume the full position that my father gave to me upon my birth. But I don't know how I am going to live without you until I have my chance to return. I know I won't.
I hope you will have a nice life until then, and please don't leave this little obstacle get you down. I will be back. Time is short, and I doubt the flight attendants will enjoy me writing while the plane takes off, so I'll leave you now.
Syaoran"

I sigh as I put the paper and what I was writing with back into the bag. I look out the window, and I see her. I thought that she wouldn't come, but I guess I was wrong. I see Tomoyo standing next to her, both arguing with the attendant that was guarding the door. I wonder how they found out my flight number.

I stood up and started to walked out of the plane, but I was stopped by another attendant. She had a slight smile on her face as she stood in my way and said, "I know that it is going to be hard, but you must do this. It's best for both of you." I gave her a strange look, and got a better look at her. She had clear blue eyes and long blond hair pulled up into two buns like Meling's, only they were in hearts. I tried to get pass her, but she kept moving into my way.

I did something I have never done before. I gave up. Hey, don't look at me like that. You try loosing the one person you care for and then all your friends all in one day. I turned around and walked back to me seat, only looking back once when I had reached my seat to see her wave, then disappear. I buckled my belt and pretended that it was nothing, then looked back out.

Tomoyo was still trying to talk to the attendant, but Sakura was looking out the window, one hand on the glass. She looked so strange. From the way she was standing, I could tell that she was upset, but I didn't know to what extent. I kept looking as the attendant walked into the terminal and shut the doors. I didn't notice when he suddenly appeared next to me, tapping me on the shoulder.

I looked to him, and he handed me a small package and left without saying a word. I opened it, and saw a picture from where Sakura captured the Dream Card, with my arm around her shoulders. The plane took off sometime later, me not listening to the explanations on how our seats could be used as a flotation device. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until we landed.

three years later

It's midnight. I'm next to my waterfall. Nobody has ever found me here as of yet, so I don't have to worry about that at the moment. It will be hours before they realize that I'm missing. I welcome the loneliness that I feel. I welcome the dankness.

I've been alone for these past few years. Yes, alone. I wanted it that way. I only have contact with other people when I have too. Nobody knows of the plane ride here, and I'm not going to let them find out. I'm already an outcast, why make them think I'm insane?

Of course I'm talking about the lady.

I haven't talked to my friends back home since the day I left. I still have that picture, and it is in a golden frame hidden in my sock drawer. I miss every one, even Tomoyo and her cameras.

God, I want to go home.

I'm in a dark place, and I have no idea where I am or how I got there. A light appears above me, and I can see a little around. I am in an unfair place, and I feel as if I have been transported into the past. I'm on a strange walkway, paved with little stones. Snow dots the land.

I walk where I feel I need to go, getting enveloped by the darkness again. I keep walking.

I must have walked for an hour or two when I see a bright pink light. I blocked my eyes from the light, and tried to hear something, but couldn't. I start to panic, and the light dies down. I uncover my eyes.

There, standing in front of me, were a whole army of people, many of them little children, but some that were my age. I looked around and saw Sakura, alone, in the center of all these people. They were facing a huge gate of some sort, with an eerie silence that was frightening. I tried to get to Sakura, but found I couldn't move.

I tried to yell, and it worked. Everyone looked at me with this look of being afraid of something. It clicked. They were scared of the sound, that they would be found by something. Sakura was looking into my eyes with a pleading look.

"Fools, you do not know silence like cancer grows. Hear my words that I might teach you, take my arms that I might reach you!" The people dropped to the ground, and so did I. I stated to cry. I don't know why.

Another light flashed, and I was barley aware of being lifted from the ground. I heard a voice say something, but I couldn't make out what was said.

I looked around where I was. I was still at my waterfall, only that the sun was rising. I wondered if that dream had been a warning of what was to come, but I was not sure. I got up and headed towards the house.

God Sakura, I miss you so much.

Song Fics - Various Fandoms

There are multiple fandoms housed here, as well as many, many different songs/artists.

Card Capture Sakura

• Sound of Silence, Simon and Garfunkle

• Gah.. I know that I haven't written in a while, or that is to my standards.. Anyways, this is a short prequel to With Out You Beside Me, which I am working on the next chapter.. Yea, I know I said that in Brìdeag Sirrona, but I still have that really bad writers block, and that reminds me. The next part to Brìdeag Sirrona should be out within the next week, and I'm trying to get that done in that part, but I doubt that I can do that. Anyways, if I'm lucky, I can get this done and upload it w/chapter 3 to woubm. Please R+R.. I'd appreciate it, a lot. Many thanks to those who have reviewed my stories already, and I hope this time I won't get any of the parts repeated.. Thanks C-tha for pointing that out.. I'm going to update that and fix some other errors that I made that I noticed after rereading it.. Anyways, I'm going to start on my fic now. Ja!

• To You I Belong, B*Witched

• Well, I didn't know if I should be typing this 'cause I still have to finish the other fics first, but I decided to anyways. Wow, my 2nd fic in 2 days.. now maybe I can put out other chapters, right?

  Anyways, I just dropped in to say that I wanted a P.O.V. for Sakura to go along with Sounds of Silence, which is a prequel too. Gomen, I'm trying my best. Anyways, I'm going to do this the same way I did the other, with the lyrics at the bottom. I like fics that way, so if you don't, then please tell me. I really need to know.. Please?

  I best get to the real point, the fic, but you know that I still have disclaimers to do. Hey, I don't want to be sued.

Sailor Moon

• Love Of My Life, Queen
• This story was first uploaded on July 14, 2003. Since I have not had time to fix the AN's on the first page since the rules changed, I'm taking time now.

  Read at own risk -- this fic hasn't been proofed by anyone other than myself (I think..), so there's bound to be mistakes.

  Also, this story is AU! Ties in with my Total Eclipse of the Heart fic, which I am picking back up after two years on hiatus.

• Saved, Queen

Cross-Overs

• Cruel To Be Kind

Shades of Gray - Teaser/Notes

Story Summery: This one is sad.. Sakura remembers something that Syaoran did to her a year before, then gets Kero to use three cards on her.

Author Notes:

• Chapter One
• FYI: I'm in a depressed mood right now, can't ya tell? This is a semi-songfic, one that is counted in pt. 2, Our Song. This fic was long for me (a good 5 & 1/2 pages written, by hand, on college ruled paper, in cursive), but it was worth it. I nearly cried when I was writing this. Yea yea, I'm the sensitive one of my group of peeps.
  
  I am currently halfway through the second part, and it should be up sometime tonight. The next chapter shows my love of Sailor Moon mixed in with S S, even though it doesn't seem like it until the end, but I'm talking too much.
  
  Please review. I know that you liked my other story more than any of my other, and I thank all of the reviewers (at this time, there are 20.. Thanks!!)
  
  Also, this is a trilogy. The third part has a plot already formed in my head, as does the second. Until I get those finished, you probably won't hear from me.
  
  I am still working on the ones that I have been for the longest, along with my personal website, Glass Angel. Be prepared for a link there soon! All I need is a host.
  
  So, until I finish typing the rest of this series, please check out some other people's fanfiction. Thanks!
  
  
• Chapter Two
• I tried to keep this one short, really I did. It's also rushed, isn't it?
  
  So, another night, another story that's been told. Wonder what's up for next time?
  
  Sakura remembers and we find out what happened in Hong Kong.
  
  
• Chapter Three
  
  • Well, that's it. First off, I'm surprised that I was able to write this in one week and get each chapter up within a day of the previous chapter.Second, I hope that you know why I chose 'Shades of Gray' for the title. If not this is why:
    
    It fit my mood when I started the fic.
    
    Third, I hope you don't mind the change of names for this part. Halfway through, I noticed that the plot had changed a little from what I had hoped that it would be, (although it is pretty darn close,) I still found that it met my approval, but don't be surprised if one day I pop up and say that I rewrote it.
    
    Fourth, I hope that all standard deci's apply. I don't care if you use Eian, since he lives in my head.
    
    Fifth, I'm high on pixi styx, so that's why I seem so off right now.